Church of God LifeBuilders

They said, "We’ll see you there." I’ve heard that before! So I never hold my breath!

Four days later I saw one of the men, Charlie, outside the gym, sitting in his truck, reading his Bible, waiting for his work-out buddies. We spoke and I said, "Hope to see you at the Bible study."

The next thing he said was a real eye-opener. He said, "You know. I don’t think it was by accident we bumped into each other this morning. I think I need to come." But what really surprised me was what he said next: "When did you say that you meet again?"

For years Man in the Mirror has stressed in our training the importance of personally inviting men. We have found that advertising is a non-starter. Almost no one will come to your function because they saw it in the bulletin, got a flyer in the mail, or heard about it on the radio. Men come when they are personally invited to come.

The personal invitation is everything to bringing visitors. Research has found that 80% to 90% of all people who visit church do so because they were personally invited.

But Art Groomes, discipleship and evangelism specialist for LifeWay, said, "Statistics indicate it can take up to 20 touches before someone becomes open to visiting Sunday School or a worship service."

Between the research and experience, it seems clear that a personal invitation is not everything after all! Better to say "multiple" personal invitations.

To turn men out to our events and functions, we need to adjust this best practice to multiple personal invitations.

Yours for changed lives,

Most observers agree we are in the middle of an integrity crisis. I personally know dishonesty is rampant among the clerks and cashiers where I get my Starbucks and movie tickets– because they often try to give me a price break as though, together, we are "sticking it to the man."

I get nervous when I hear a message or read a book that exhorts me to behave my way out of a situation I have believed my way into. For example, if a man doesn’t think that it’s necessary to tithe, that there’s nothing wrong with "looking at the menu" when it comes to women other than his wife, or that there’s nothing wrong with little white lies — it’s doubtful that a "behavior modification" scheme is going to change him long term.

Belief determines behavior. To change behavior we need a "belief modification" plan. To say it even better, we need a "heart transformation" plan. Easily the greatest contribution we can make to a man is to help him change the core affections of his heart. Any such plan, for the Christian, necessarily starts with the Bible. So here’s a good believer’s definition for integrity:

Integrity is a one-to-one correlation between my Bible, my belief, and my behavior.

Yours for changed lives,

I love suffering because the "groan" only lasts for a brief while. In fact, life itself only lasts for a brief while. One day long ago my pastor said, "Life is an inch." That changed my life.

A folktale puts our "inch" in perspective. In the land of Svithjod there is a large rock. Let’s say the size of this rock is 100 yards square–a cube the length of a football field. Imagine that once every 1,000 years a little bird comes by and sharpens its beak on that rock. However long it will take that little bird to turn that rock into dust–that is the first blink of eternity’s eye.(1)

Even a lifetime of suffering is a small thing compared to the matchless joy that will be ours as we watch that little bird drop by every 1,000 years to sharpen its beak. "Better is one day in your courts than 1,000 elsewhere" (Psalm 84:10).

As a man who has just come through nine months of suffering, I can honestly look back and say, "I love suffering. It was worth it. It was grueling. It wasn’t fun. I groaned. But it was worth it. Lord, I love what you’re doing in my life. Thank you for the grace. Thank you for the refining fire. Thank you."

Because of suffering, I know the gospel is true. Isn’t that a small price to pay?

Yours for changed lives,

Wisely, they realized they had tried to run before they had walked–or even crawled. They went back to a "crawl, walk, run" mentality. They reminded themselves that when building a men’s discipleship ministry they needed to be patient.

Two years later, those same leaders had won the involvement of their senior pastor. They had built relationships with key men in the church. They rescheduled a men’s seminar and are expecting great results.

Are you disappointed by the "small" start to your men’s discipleship ministry? You shouldn’t be. Why? Because God isn’t. Zechariah 4:10 says, "Do not despise the small beginning, for the eyes of the Lord rejoice to see the work begin" (TLB).

Building a sustainable men’s discipleship ministry is simply going to take longer than most of us think. That’s because we are "building relationships with God and others" not "joining together for a task."

We need to "crawl, walk, run." If you want to build a dynamic discipleship ministry to every man in your church in two years, you will "force" some things and violate "relationship processes" that simply take more time. Relationships take time. We have to "earn" the right to be heard.

Don’t try to do in two years what will take five or ten years. Check yourself by asking, "Is it time to crawl, walk, or run?"

If you hit a wall, don’t give up. Instead, back off and give your plan more time to develop. Such small beginnings make God happy.

Yours for changed lives,